Why do partners cheat?

This is one question i should have asked my ex husband when i found out he was cheating on me with one of my best friends! To this day it still bothers me as to Why he did it! I did ask him at the time but all i got was  "i dont know why" and "it was there for me so i took it"! Now they are not answers!

This had a massive impact on my life for obvious reasons and it totally shattered my confidence for years! Even today i still find that i doubt myself in my appearance and personality but things have got better over time for me! I spent 4 years alone after my marriage breakdown and to spend that amount of time alone in your early-mid 20's is something that has been lost to me forever!

I do wonder why in general a guy would cheat on his wife or indeed a girl on her guy and a few thoughts have gone through my mind but i am only basing this on my experience and my situation with my ex husband!

I have come to the conclusion after many years of finally knowing that it was not me,it was not my looks or personality that made him do it,it was the fact that he loved himself and thought that he was Gods gift to women as he was an attractive man! Obviously he had seen me with no make up on etc and first thing in the morning and the girl who he was cheating on me with always had the full make up on etc and looked very well anytime she was in our company! Just thinking about it, she never came over to visit me without putting alot into her appearance and that was obviously for his benefit!

A woman who cheats is labelled a whore or a slut but when a guy cheats he is a stud or a player! This really annoys me! Opportunities will always arise for one partner to cheat but if they are truly are in love with their other half,they will resist,obviously this was not the case within my relationship!

Is it in general,insecurity that may drive a guy to cheat on his girl? Do they need to prove to themselves that they can still attract women and that a woman could still want them? Do they lack responsibility? Do they lack maturity?

Or are they just seeking excitement? Was i not exciting enough for him? This thought haunted me for years! I wasn't married for too long before he started his affair so it wasn't a case of married life being so different to the way it was as single people! It wasn't the case that we were married for endless years and the spark was gone!

So in my situation overall i think it all boils down to insecurity,the thrill of it and a total lack of respect for his partner whom he obviously was not in love with! And the fact that he was the type of guy who really really loved himself so much!

Just to put another spin on this post, i worked in a nightclub when i was younger and in my late teens-early 20's and i have seen unfaithfulness among my work colleagues! What happened was the security staff/bouncers whom most of them were married or in relationships practically all had someone on the side! These girls were generally alot younger than they were and for example one of the guys was in his mid 30's and married but his girlfriend was not much older than me at the time! So from my experience,i have witnessed the situation of someone being unfaithful and cheating from a relatively young age so to speak! I remember on a few occassions the wife of one the security staff socialising in the nightclub at the same time as his girlfriend was there and thinking "this is just not right" but i was only a young girl working and could not say anything! His girlfriend was fully aware of him being a married man btw!

Please think about the impact that it has on your partner if you are ever thinking of trying out forbidden fruits or are you just so selfish that you dont care about anyone other than yourself! Think about why you are doing it and dont ever forget that looks dont last forever and think strongly about what is there when the looks have faded! If you love yourself and think that you are "Gods gift", it is not going to be like that forever!

Thanks for taking the time to read my post! Hope it makes sense and if you are a guy/girl in a relationship and being unfaithful,at least have the decency to tell your partner before the inevitable happens and you get caught and believe me,it will happen,

lots of love,

Hollie xxx