Thursday, 31 December 2015

2016 My Only Goal



I am not the type of girl who says the likes of "New Year,New Me"! I have never set myself goals for the new year but this coming year 2016,i only want one thing and that is to feel better in myself and about myself.

Unfortunately depression and anxiety have taken a firm grip on me and i have always resisted any forms of medication but having read some amazing brave posts recently by fellow bloggers,i feel i have to take the chance and try and sort myself out. It is not fair on my BF,my family and friends and also and i dont mind saying this,on me! I want to be happy and enjoy life rather than living a miserable life,constantly feeling down and having a very disturbing obsession with death! I cant help thinking everyday that someone close to me or even myself is going to die soon!

December has been a tough month for me seeing everyone happy and i have tried to put on a fake smile and look like i am enjoying the festive period,this was difficult to do and i just ended up being very quiet and saying very little even when we out with friends. I have tried my best to be happy on twitter but i have recently just refrained from saying anything as i kinda felt like i was on a thin line between being nice or totally losing it alltogether as alot was actually getting to me.

So that's it,2016 i will go on medication and see what happens but i am terrified about what these meds actually do to my state of mind,how will it change me,i really am scared but maybe it might change certain things like the fact that i stay up late at night for reasons such as,
1-i know nobody will contact me as it is too late and i dont want to talk to anyone and,
2-if i dont have to be up for work early,i can sleep late so the next day is actually shorter.

I wish everyone of you the very best for 2016 and i want to thank you all for the support that you have givin me and for putting up with me since i joined the twitter community,if i had never joined twitter,i really believe i would be in a worse place now,

thanks for reading,

all my love,

Hollie xx


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12 comments:

  1. Guilianna McGinniss31 December 2015 at 06:33

    Lovely post, Hollie! I'm so happy I discovered your blog via Twitter. Lots of us struggle with anxiety and depression. I'm really proud of you for taking the right steps. I wish you the best of luck. Please keep us all posted on your progress. Looking forward to your future blog posts. Have a Happy & Healthy New Year!

    Guilianna xoxo

    http://guiliannamarie.blogspot.com

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    1. Unknown31 December 2015 at 06:47

      thank you so much hunni,this is so nice of you xxx

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  2. emma31 December 2015 at 07:00

    Good luck with this! I have struggled with the same sort of problems, I've tried meds before and its just trial and error to find one that helps. I hope it goes well for you, you deserve to be happy!

    Emma x | emmaraeburnx.blogspot.com

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    1. Unknown31 December 2015 at 07:45

      thanks so much Emma,it is interesting to hear about it being trial and error xx

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  3. Becster31 December 2015 at 20:57

    Such a brave post! I hope the medication work for you and you should definitely try it. Yes it's scary but you've got nothing to lose and a lot to gain. All the best for 2016 lovely x

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    1. Unknown5 January 2016 at 06:41

      thank you so so much,i really appreciate your support! Hope you have a fab 2016 hunni xx

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  4. Jabi5 January 2016 at 08:42

    Thanks for visiting me because I'm so glad I came here and found this post(in a good way).

    I also struggle with anxiety A LOT and we're back at work so early in the year and it just feels like we closed yesterday. I stress so much about everything and I feel guilt so fast so when I can I just withdraw from the world as spend my time indoors until I run out of food. And sometimes I cry all of a sudden - just out of pure helplessness.

    So I understand fully what you must be going through. If the meds help please let me know so that I can look at some options myself.

    I hope it all works out!

    xx

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    1. Unknown5 January 2016 at 08:57

      thank you so much Jabi,i will certainly get back to you re meds and i hope things get better for you lovely xx

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  5. Unknown6 January 2016 at 14:07

    Such an honest heartfelt post. I don't think any woman could say that haven't struggled with anxiety or depression at some point in our lives. Our brains are wired so differently from men! Best of luck and I hope the meds help you find peace and comfort.

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    1. Unknown6 January 2016 at 16:18

      thank you so much for your lovely comment Shea,i really appreciate it alot x

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  6. Autumn-Blaze30 January 2016 at 10:00

    Just a reminder that you are not alone, I have also started medication for anxiety and depression this year. The only person that can make you better is yourself, but we're all rooting for you 100%! Sending all my love your way, you're always welcome to come to me for a chat. Well done on being so honest, it's such a hard thing to describe to people, but you've done it in a great way xxxx

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    1. Unknown30 January 2016 at 10:20

      thank you so much sweetheart,i really appreciate what you have said and i hope everything is going well for you xxx

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