I Want To Feel Better

The great thing about having a blog is that if you are feeling like i do now,it helps to be able to write things down and then maybe reflect on everything as i am writing and trying to make sence of all the thoughts going through my head at the moment.

The fact is i feel crap at the moment and have alot of real life problems,some of which might seem very minor but to me they are more than that.Apart from the minor ones,i have some bigger issues and am finding it hard at the moment to like anything about my life.My problems with anxiety have gotten worse and i suffer from many forms of it and also i am really struggling having been diagnosed with a severe form of depression last January (and this is something that i am mentioning for the first time now).I was afraid to mention this in a post before and only a few close friends know about this.My family or my BF dont even know.At this present moment i dont care if any of them actually read this post tbh.

I always know when things are not great with me when i lose interest in the things that have helped me through the last year and these include twitter (blogging and fpl community)which i am not joking in saying that some of my friends on there have had such a massive positive impact on me and have helped me so much just by being themselves.I do though get irritated by certain things on twitter and i am not going to mention them here now but i do know that even if i did mention them,some of my so called friends of mine dont read my blog yet give the impression that they support me and my blog and yet they will never see this post,i may as well put there names here but i would never do that.Maybe i just want some people to be like me.I try my best.

Anyway,i have drifted away from what i am trying to say and that is that i dont feel well at the moment and am concidering going on medication which is something that i have stayed away from as i thought i could beat all this on my own.I am not winning and i admit this now.I may feel better in the morning but i really hate trying to go to bed and trying to sleep hoping that i wake up late so the day is shorter for me (i am off work tomorrow).

I am not happy with my thinking on this and i should be looking forward to tomorrow and what it brings but instead of this,i am not.

It,s now past 2am here and i want to sleep but i know that i wont be able to and i am totally worn out,exhausted and fed up.

Sorry about this negative post but writing it has in a small way helped me.When i feel better,i will be myself again on the likes of twitter,and as the title suggests "i want to feel better"but this is really really difficult,

Hollie

#FPL Unfair Awarding of Some Points

Just a quick post brought on by yet another awful decision by the powers that be #fpl where points scoring is concerned.

Last week,it was obvious to everyone apart from the guys that award points #fpl that Hazard's attempt on goal went in off Chambers for what was such an obvious "own goal".Yet the goal and points are awarded to Hazard which for all his owners,they are obviously delighted with the decision but these type of decisions make the overall points scores flawed in a way especially as the goal has since been awarded as an OG.

 Premier League ‏@premierleague Sep 24

GOAL ACCREDITATION PANEL Chelsea’s 2nd goal against Arsenal was in fact an own goal (Calum Chambers) & has not been credited to Eden Hazard

 Premier League ‏@premierleague Sep 24

And a reminder: rulings by the Goal Accreditation Panel do not affect points already awarded in Fantasy Premier League

A very similar incident happened this season where a Sanchez attempt on goal hits a defender and goes in and it is givin as an own goal?So where is the consistancy in this people of fpl?

And the worst one of all was the Silva goal that was not and was awarded to Ya Ya,i mean everyone knew that it was his goal except the guys that awarded it to Ya Ya.Absolute joke this one.

And the last one of controversy is the assist awarded to Butland.When i heard this i actually thought someone was joking with me as it was clearly a back pass intersepted so how is it possible to award points to Butland? If that is the case,then surely if for example Neil Taylor plays a forward pass which is headed back by a defender to his goalkeeper and intersepted by Gomis who scores,then Taylor gets the assist.I have not seen this been givin before though!

All these decisions obviously have a ripple type effect as BP's are also awarded wrongly too.

These type of decisions take the fun and enjoyment out of playing this amazing game and have affected the overall standings of everyone who plays the game. What could happen is come the end of the game,the person who is sitting in 1st place might have had Ya Ya in his team in GW1 and the person who is in 2nd or 3rd place might have had Silva in their team and only trail the winner by a couple of points.In my view,they should be the rightful winner.

The obvious mistakes made by the people of fpl who decide the awarding of points just might come back to haunt them as when you have an overall table that does not reflect the actual and real points scored by it's players,it does leave an air of doubt and unfairness.

This is such a shame as it is the best game ever in my opinion but unless some rules are changed,it will lead to some players going elsewhere to enjoy their fix of fantasy football,

hope you enjoyed,

Hollie

A Little Rant About Disqus

This post is being written as i am totally sick of reading a blog post which i obviously like and am interested in and then wanting to leave a comment when i come accross this thing called "Disqus".

For those not familiar with Disqus,you must Login using twitter,facebook or through google in order to submit your comment. Now i personally dont like having to actually login to something first before being able to comment and i will never ever use this.

This is so disappointing for me as some of my favourite blogs and bloggers use disqus and i will never be able to leave a comment on their fabulous blogs but this is obviously their choice to use it for whatever reasons they have.

I do believe that a thing like disqus is offputting not only to me but to many others and i do also believe that as we all love comments on our blog,at least it should be made straightforward enough to do so without having to actually "Login" to something before doing so.I also know that alot of people will not agree with me at all on this.

I will also say now that my opinion on this will never change regardless of what might be said to me about how amazing this thing is and nobody will ever change my mind.

Anyway,rant over,have a nice day,

Hollie

50 Things That Make Me Happy

I was tagged to do this post by the always lovely and supportive Flo of lovefromflorencegrace.co.uk and it's a post about 50 things thst make me happy. Wow this is going to be difficult as i have not been feeling happy for quite some time but anyway,here goes,

1-Getting a new follower to my blog.
2-Making new friends on twitter.
3-Somebody actually taking the time to read and leave a comment on my blog.
4-Summertime.
5-Painting my nails red or pink.
6-Finding a new dress that i really like and that fits well.
7-Buying new shoes,especially high heels.
8-When anxiety doesn't get hold of me when i have to do something.
9-Getting a good weekly score #fpl.
10-Having a high overall position #fpl.
11-Having a drink at night while checking out some blogs.
12-Finding a fantastic new blog to follow.
13-Getting flowers from my BF (hope you are reading this) lol.
14-Having a great night out with my BF,just the 2 of us.
15-Chocolate.
16-Finding something i love on sale online and having the money to buy it.
17-My dog.
18-Writing a new blog post.
19-When my make up is perfect.
20-Finding a great new TV show to watch.
21-When the postman arrives with my parcel.
22-People who are genuinly nice on twitter.
23-Going for a walk when the leaves are falling.
24-Having a nice sleepin in the morning.
25-Getting breakfast brought to me in bed.
26-When payday comes around.
27-When i can actually help somebody by what i might say or do.
28-A good hair day.
29-When i recieve a compliment from my BF.
30-When i make my BF happy.
31-Chatting fantasy football but not all the time tho.
32-When someone is there for me for support.
33-Having a nice cup of tea sometimes.
34-Being at the beach on a beautiful day and having ice cream.
35-Staying in and watching a good movie,snuggling on the couch with a glass of wine.
36-Kittens and puppies.
37-Going to the zoo.
38-Watching Xpose on TV3 and seeing my fav Irish model Sarah McGovern on it.
39-Fresh bedsheets.
40-Having some time to myself.
41-A good girlie night out.
42-Holding hands with my BF.
43-When the Swans win.
44-Listening to my fav band.
45-No bra day or taking it off after a long day.
46-When someone actually listens to what i am saying.
47-My fav perfume.
48-When my BF remembers some small detail that i might have mentioned to him.
49-Feeling safe when my BF is home from work.
50-Actually finishing this post lol.

So that's my 50 and i enjoyed writing this,thanks again Flo! I would like to tag the following lovely girls but also if anyone else fancies it,please do the tag post as it is alot of fun and has helped take my mind off other issues for a while!

Iga @igaberry1
Kayleigh @averyberrycosmo
Amy @AmyJWalters

ps-since doing this post,the lovely Iga has also done her top 50,you can find it here and also you can follow the lovely Iga too,

 
http://www.igaberry.com/2015/09/50-reasons-to-be-happy.html -  Find me at: https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/igaberry-13323143 & https://twitter.com/igaberry1

if anyone would like to leave a comment,please do so,i love reading comments,

lots of love

Hollie xxx

Me and Twitter at the Moment

Just a quick post as it just occurred to me that sometimes i cant be me where twitter is concerned!! I have to hold back and restrain myself from certain tweets.To explain what i mean is on occasions such as now,i would love to tweet how i feel at the moment and also what i think about certain things but if i do,i have a worry that i may lose some followers.I really appreciate the follows that i have and you are all awesome.But there are certain followers who follow me and i would be afraid and so disappointed to lose these people so i have to be careful what i say sometimes!

Recently i tweeted this
"i always support people and sometimes i get support back but sometimes i wonder why i bother at all with some people #wastingmytime "

At the time i really wanted to go more into this but i just couldn't do it,sometimes you think you have friends but then you realise that really they are not and some are just so self centred and full of their own self importance and i believe they think they are above and better than the rest of us,this just annoys me so much as well as alot of other things too i might add!

Also there are some people who say they support me but never ever bother to even read any of my posts and i know this for a fact so please dont be false,i dont know if i should of said that but sometimes even the slightest things just bug me!

So i am in a situation where i cant be myself who is a person who is sometimes completely nuts and generally unstable but where twitter is concerned,i just dont know what to do,even writing this has confused me. I really want to be myself but as i said earlier,i am nuts at times and can be a real nightmare,but not all the time,

a confused Hollie x