Wednesday, 6 May 2015
Thinking you are "In Love" and Actually Being "In Love"
This post is about what it is like to be in love! I have decided to write this as i have had the experience of thinking i was in love and also having the experience of actually really being in love!
So how do you know if infact you are in love! This is the question yes!
I will start by mentioning that i thought i was in love when i got married 8 years ago! I was physically attracted to him and liked the way he treated me in most cases before we got married as he used to buy me alot of gifts and as a 21 year old girl,i was so happy as i was physically attracted to him and the fact i thought i was special as he looked after me with lots of gifts etc! I used to go weak at the knees at the sight of him and as you know i married him! For anyone who doesn't know what happened in my disasterous marriage,here it is in 2 posts!
So was i in love,the answer to this is "No" and the reason i know this is because of the different feelings i have now with my boyfriend as compared to my ex husband! I did love him at first and thought i was in love but i guess i never really understood what it was like to actually really be in love!
I never had the feeling of excitement to get a text as i do now and i used to see doing my ex husbands washing and ironing as a chore compared to now that i actually want to do it for my BF although i must point out he never asks or expects me to do it and infact does it himself! When i am out shopping,i always think of what my BF likes before what i like to buy and buy for him! I love spending as much time with him as is possible and even through the bad times we always work it out together! I love when he phones me unexpectantly from work,he always puts a smile on my face (even though i can be a moody cow at times lol)! I take a genuine interest in his work stories and by asking "how was your day honey", i genuinly mean it unlike just asking the question and half listening to the answer! I love when we cosy up on the couch to watch a movie and i always end up crying at most movies and he wipes my tears and gives me a big hug! There is no better feeling than this when i know that he is being genuine about it and i know by the look on his face and in his eyes!
We go out to lunch/dinner and i love every minute of it! We are never stuck for something to say and even if this does happen,i never feel pressurised to think of something to say just for the sake of saying it! I did feel under pressure while i was married!
As i am writing this now,it is now 2am and my man has been in work from 6pm-2am so is due home very soon! I have stayed awake to see him when he comes home and i cannot wait! He makes me feel safe and i just get this butterflies in my stomach feeling knowing that he is on his way home to me! All these feelings are telling me that i am infact "in love" and that this is Real Love as compared to what i thought was love in the past!
There is no comparison in the feelings i have now against the feelings i had before when i actually got married! They are completely different and although i am 8 years older,what i thought was being in love was far from the actual real feeling of "being in love"!
So i myself have experienced two different feelings regarding the concept of being in love,one being what i thought what being in love was and one where i know what being in love really is! There is a massive difference and when it happens to you,you will know,believe me!
When you want to be with them,look forward to seeing them,want to do things for them,get that special feeling in your stomach,when they are always on your mind,when there is absolute trust and no jealousy involved and when you feel comfortable with them and can be yourself always,these for me are indications what leads to true love!
I have not gone into too much about my marriage feelings in this post but i do know now what it is really like to be in love! One thing i remember well is when we used to sit down to watch a movie,he would sit in the single seater with his can of beer and i would be left on the couch by myself! I can honestly say we never cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie after we got married! This used to make me sad!
I am not a pushy or clingy person and in all honesty i was not looking for the relationship that i have now and indeed spent 4 years alone after the breakdown of my marriage which drained me of all my confidence! I am not looking for a walking down the aisle again situation as it would not bother me at all if i never married again but i do like how i feel at the moment about my man and i am for sure 100% that i am for the first time in my life "In Love"!
Thank you for reading,
lots of love,
ps-when i wrote this,it was early morning and my BF was due home!