Mental Health Issues

I am writing this post to say a massive Thank You to all the wonderful bloggers out there who have written posts on mental health issues! The majority of the posts have been written about personal experiences and the way that these wonderful people are tackling the issues that are with them day in day out! You are all amazing and so inspirational and i have so much respect and admiration for each and every one of you and indeed i have expressed my thanks in blog and twitter comments to each and every one of you individually!

You all in your own way have helped me so much with your honesty and positivity and i sincerely thank you all for this! I have my problems and some day i will have the courage to write a post about them but i feel as it would not be a positive post and would be a post of massive negativity,that it would in no way be inspirational to anyone who reads it so at this moment in time,i am unable to write it!

I do my best on twitter to be as cheerful and to help anyone who may need some help with anything and i try to reflect positivity whenever possible,but when and if things turn around,i will be so happy to write my post and then hope that it will be of some inspiration to somebody who may not see a light at the end of that tunnel! Until then,i am searching for my light,

Hollie x

This is the closest i have come to actually writing my post and i am in a small way quite proud of myself! I now hope that i dont take this post down!

My FPL Season in brief

This is a brief enough account of my #fpl season playing as team "Reckless Hollie's X1" which was far from reckless and was way too cautious for my liking!

Now i have to say that season 2014/15 has been nothing short of "Frustrating" to say the least! Before it all began,i had high hopes and a target of a finish of around 14500 position as this would have been my 2nd best finish ever having finished 23rd overall in season 2012/13.

It all started disasterously and after GW 1,i was ranked 1.6 million and having picked my original team which included Rooney,Mata,Ramsey,Baines,Terry and Costa! It didn't look too bad at the time but it is so important to get a good start when playing this game and i did not!

GW2 i took a hit and rose from 1.6 to 1.0 mil,yes i was going in the right direction! The next week,the ship was steadied and i stayed in the same position! It was now time for that lovely WC to be played and i did so in GW4!

So from GW 4-9 it was all progression and i went from 1.0 mil position to 12 k overall. A lovely position to be in and now to kick on i thought! I hovered around positions 15-18 k for the next few GW's until the time came around GW14 when i just could not pick the right Captain at all! Nomatter who i picked,he did nothing at all and almost every week,my VC was scoring well!

 12 consecutive weeks in a row with wrong Captain choice was killing me and by GW and my overall dropped to around 30k! Oh what could have been if only i keep telling myself!

I continued my "Captain Curse" what it was now called for a few more GW' s and dropped even more to 52k by GW 30 and i was so disappointed with myself! It worked out that i had picked the right Captain for 2 weeks out of the previous 16 or so which meant 14/16 weeks of no return from my main man and i mean no return!

GW 31-33 saw an overall rise of 22k before a disasterous Double week 34 which seen my team have Schlupp and Moreno in and having got rid of Siggy for Henderson too! I thought i was set up having 7 doubles and with only a -4 hit! I scored 51 points and dropped to 39k overall!

That was it and i said to myself,i need greens now with only 4 GW' s left if i was to achieve my goal! I had reset my goal to now try and finish in the top 1% of 3.5 million players!

GW 35 green to 32k, GW36 green to 29k and GW37 green to 25k were all achieved with 2 from those 3 weeks having -4 hits (back to playing it the way i like to play it).

At this stage i wanted to finish inside the top 20k which was my new aim and i did my best and got a green arrow of 4.5k and unfortunately just finished outside top 20k at a final position of,

20323 overall!

It actually represented a % finish of  0.58% which i am very happy with in all honesty as with 4 games to go,i was outside the top 1% of players!

Roll on next season where i have plans to play it less cautiously and see where it takes me,

thanks for reading,

Hollie!

Missing #fpl already!

One Lovely Blog Award

I was nominated for the "One Lovely Blog Award" by the lovely El from elsfashionfix.co.uk .Although i have already done this before, it means so much to me as the nomination came from a lovely lady who is just so wonderful to follow and has a really amazing blog which i totally love! If you are reading this,you really must follow this beautiful young lady!


For this lovely award I have to list 7 facts about myself and then nominate 10 other bloggers. As i have already done this before i would just like to nominate anybody that fancies doing it so ladies and gents if you fancy it,work away!

"The rules of the award"

1. Thank the person nominating you and link back to them in your post.
2. Share seven things about yourself.                                                                                                      
3. Nominate 10 other bloggers.
4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know

"7 Random Things About Me"

 

1-I love anything Polka Dot especially skirts and dresses. I believe this all came from watching a video of Strawberry Switchblade singing since yesterday when i was a little girl and the fact that my dad had the record too.

2 - I was married at age 21,seperated at age 23 after my husband cheated on me and divorsed at age 27. I am now 29 years old.

3- I started my working life in a nightclub serving drinks and to this day i still work in the f+b industry although i dont work in nightclubs anymore. I will leave that to the younger girls.

4- I would love to have a child some day and fingers crossed it will happen but not just right now lol,i had a miscarraige during my marriage.

5- I always cry when watching a movie with either a happy or a sad ending especially when it involves animals,i get so embarrased at times with this.

6-I find it difficult to go to sleep early,i guess that's from working till all hours in my younger days and it never left my system.

7- Love wearing high heels even though i am quite tall and my tip for a wearing a higher heel is, if you are going out that night and want to wear 5" heels,a few hours before that while at home,wear 6" heels and when you do change to go out,it will feel like you are wearing slippers lol! Obviously same applies if going out wearing 4" heels,wear the 5" before hand!

Hope you enjoyed my post and again a massive thank you to El from elsfashionfix.co.uk . I am so happy that you thought of me when nominating! Believe me, El is a must follow as some people are just so lovely and deserve all the followers in the world!

Thanks for reading,

lots of love,

Hollie xxx

Skirt and Heels from New Look

I just had to do a quick post about the new skirt and heels that i recently bought online from New Look! These are part of an order that qualified for free delivery from the UK to Ireland! I was very happy with this deal and i choose express delivery which promised delivery within 2 days and 2 days later,my package arrived! I was very impressed with this!

Please visit www.newlook.com as i am totally crazy about this site at the moment and i have so much in my wishlist!

First of all i have to say that i absolutely totally love this skirt and the platform heels are just so comfortable although they have a 6" heel! They were actually advertised as 5.5" heel but they have a 6" heel and they are so easy to walk in and soooo comfortable!

I also wore a gypsy top also purchased from new look but as it's 2.00 am and i look a mess lol and i am waiting for my bf to come home,i am just concentrating on the skirt and heels!



White Abstract Print Skater Skirt  £8.00

 Black Cross Strap Peep Toe Platform Heels  £15.00

As you can see,i also wore magenta tights which i purchased from my local shopping centre! My legs are way too white at the moment with this awful Irish weather but my next outfit will be tights free all going to plan!

For the record,this is the gypsy top,

 Petite Black Jersey Gypsy Top £6.00

I totally love this look,if i may ask,what do you think of the colour tights with the outfit? Yes or no?

Top      New Look online £6.00
Skirt    New Look online £8.00
Shoes  New Look online £15.00 (sold out)
Tights  Dunnes Stores     €4.00

So there you go now,i very rarely do any outfit posts but i just love the skirt and am totally in love with these heels. I have had a very stressful day as i spent an hour earlier today taking pics and every one of them were absolute rubbish so at 2.00 am i decided to just do the skirt and heels,

thanks for reading,

Hollie xxx

Important Update for former BOTS5 members #FPL

This is an important update for all who were in BOTS5 #fpl so please get back to myself or Walt ASAP if you are interested in joining our Official BOTS league's for next season!

What is happening is that next season will be an exciting one where Bots is concerned as we are planning 3 divisions with promotion/relegation throughout the season. In order to facilitate former interested BOTS5 members, we will need you to declare your interest ASAP so we can determine which division you will start in! The probability is that the majority of interested players will infact start in either division 2 or 3 but this still has to be decided! This will be exciting as you will have the aim to get promotion to the Premier league!

So please if you are interested and will be a committed player to your guys/girls team and hopefully participate in the banter on twitter that is so much fun,contact myself or Walt as soon as you can.

I tried to keep BOTS 5 alive as long as i could last season but in all honesty,there were so many players who lost interest so with this message we are reaching out to the players who were interested and offering the opportunity to officially join one of the best and most exciting FPL leagues out there,

thanks for reading,

Hollie and Walt

Contact us ASAP please!

My Recent Absence

I havn't been around twitter as much recently and as for blogging,i have completely neglected my blog of late! I would like to explain my absence as anyone who knows me will know that i tweet quite alot,infact as my BF pointed out to me,way too much!

What happened a couple of weeks ago is that i lost a friend who passed away! I am very close to the family and it was more the circumstances of his passing that affected me the most! It has been a very sad time of late but i realise that life goes on and all i can do is be there for those that have been left behind!

I am alot better now and i want to thank all my friends on twitter who were there for me,you are all amazing!

I will be back to my usual self very soon and again will be tweeting about lots of fashion and beauty which i am sure my football followers will be passing over and tweeting lots of football related tweets too which in turn i am sure my fashion.beauty followers will be wondering why they are following me in the first place lol! Thank you all for sticking with me,you are all awesome,

thanks for reading,

Hollie xxx

Thinking you are "In Love" and Actually Being "In Love"

This post is about what it is like to be in love! I have decided to write this as i have had the experience of thinking i was in love and also having the experience of actually really being in love!

So how do you know if infact you are in love! This is the question yes!

I will start by mentioning that i thought i was in love when i got married 8 years ago! I was physically attracted to him and liked the way he treated me in most cases before we got married as he used to buy me alot of gifts and as a 21 year old girl,i was so happy as i was physically attracted to him and the fact i thought i was special as he looked after me with lots of gifts etc! I used to go weak at the knees at the sight of him and as you know i married him! For anyone who doesn't know what happened in my disasterous marriage,here it is in 2 posts!

 http://holliegarner44.blogspot.ie/2014/09/how-i-met-my-husband.html

 http://holliegarner44.blogspot.ie/2014/09/how-and-why-i-left-my-husband.html

So was i in love,the answer to this is "No" and the reason i know this is because of the different feelings i have now with my boyfriend as compared to my ex husband! I did love him at first and thought i was in love but i guess i never really understood what it was like to actually really be in love!

I never had the feeling of excitement to get a text as i do now and i used to see doing my ex husbands washing and ironing as a chore compared to now that i actually want to do it for my BF although i must point out he never asks or expects me to do it and infact does it himself! When i am out shopping,i always think of what my BF likes before what i like to buy and buy for him! I love spending as much time with him as is possible and even through the bad times we always work it out together! I love when he phones me unexpectantly from work,he always puts a smile on my face (even though i can be a moody cow at times lol)! I take a genuine interest in his work stories and by asking "how was your day honey", i genuinly mean it unlike just asking the question and half listening to the answer! I love when we cosy up on the couch to watch a movie and i always end up crying at most movies and he wipes my tears and gives me a big hug! There is no better feeling than this when i know that he is being genuine about it and i know by the look on his face and in his eyes!

We go out to lunch/dinner and i love every minute of it! We are never stuck for something to say and even if this does happen,i never feel pressurised to think of something to say just for the sake of saying it! I did feel under pressure while i was married!

As i am writing this now,it is now 2am and my man has been in work from 6pm-2am so is due home very soon! I have stayed awake to see him when he comes home and i cannot wait! He makes me feel safe and i just get this butterflies in my stomach feeling knowing that he is on his way home to me! All these feelings are telling me that i am infact "in love" and that this is Real Love as compared to what i thought was love in the past!

There is no comparison in the feelings i have now against the feelings i had before when i actually got married! They are completely different and although i am 8 years older,what i thought was being in love was far from the actual real feeling of "being in love"!

So i myself have experienced two different feelings regarding the concept of being in love,one being what i thought what being in love was and one where i know what being in love really is! There is a massive difference and when it happens to you,you will know,believe me!

When you want to be with them,look forward to seeing them,want to do things for them,get that special feeling in your stomach,when they are always on your mind,when there is absolute trust and no jealousy involved and when you feel comfortable with them and can be yourself always,these for me are indications what leads to true love!

I have not gone into too much about my marriage feelings in this post but i do know now what it is really like to be in love! One thing i remember well is when we used to sit down to watch a movie,he would sit in the single seater with his can of beer and i would be left on the couch by myself! I can honestly say we never cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie after we got married! This used to make me sad!

I am not a pushy or clingy person and in all honesty i was not looking for the relationship that i have now and indeed spent 4 years alone after the breakdown of my marriage which drained me of all my confidence! I am not looking for a walking down the aisle again situation as it would not bother me at all if i never married again but i do like how i feel at the moment about my man and i am for sure 100% that i am for the first time in my life "In Love"!

Thank you for reading,

lots of love,

Hollie xxx

ps-when i wrote this,it was early morning and my BF was due home!